It's been a rough couple of weeks. It seemed like one after another things were just getting me down and screaming, "You have done nothing here! Everything you think you have accomplished in the past six months doesn't exist! You have done nothing."  Everyone I have been pouring into since I've been here it seemed had basically just gone back to step one all at the same time. Back to having sex with random girls, back to drug addictions, back to alcoholism, back to getting in fist fights with family members, back to endless lying. It hurt.  I would think to myself, "We've been talking and working through all these things since I got here. You seemed to be doing so good. I've done nothing but pour into you and love you and this is how you repay me? And then you lie to me on top of that?" (After looking back at these words it gives me a bit of a better understanding of how God feels when we sin against him.)

I kept listening to the lies of Satan and before I knew it I was walking myself into giving up and sulking in depression, but God wouldn't let that happen. He told me that it wasn't my weight to carry. He told me to give it all up to Him and to continue loving on the guys no matter what. But above all He told me to seek after Him. Just after I made the decision to take the weight off my shoulders and seek Him one of the guys sent me this text message:

"Brother, you are special for my life and for my heart. You want the best for my life and I know that. You are one of the few people who loves me and I thank you for that my brother. You are in my heart and I will keep you there forever. I don't know when but I want to talk to you soon. I love you my brother and I don't want to loose you. Thank you for everything. I love you."

God will reward those who seek Him.