It’s been a rough couple of weeks. It seemed like one after another things were just getting me down and screaming, “You have done nothing here! Everything you think you have accomplished in the past six months doesn’t exist! You have done nothing.” Everyone I have been pouring into since I’ve been here it seemed had basically just gone back to step one all at the same time. Back to having sex with random girls, back to drug addictions, back to alcoholism, back to getting in fist fights with family members, back to endless lying. It hurt. I would think to myself, “We’ve been talking and working through all these things since I got here. You seemed to be doing so good. I’ve done nothing but pour into you and love you and this is how you repay me? And then you lie to me on top of that?” (After looking back at these words it gives me a bit of a better understanding of how God feels when we sin against him.)
I kept listening to the lies of Satan and before I knew it I was walking myself into giving up and sulking in depression, but God wouldn’t let that happen. He told me that it wasn’t my weight to carry. He told me to give it all up to Him and to continue loving on the guys no matter what. But above all He told me to seek after Him. Just after I made the decision to take the weight off my shoulders and seek Him one of the guys sent me this text message:
“Brother, you are special for my life and for my heart. You want the best for my life and I know that. You are one of the few people who loves me and I thank you for that my brother. You are in my heart and I will keep you there forever. I don’t know when but I want to talk to you soon. I love you my brother and I don’t want to loose you. Thank you for everything. I love you.”
God will reward those who seek Him.
Yes…..God does answer prayers.
Trevor.
That’s beautiful buddy, and a really sweet load of grace. I want to be hanging out with you right now. I’d give you a hug and cry with you probably. But know that I love you, and that I miss you, and that I’m praying for you.
-Matt
Trevor,
Your labor in the Lord is not in vain.We can’t wait to see again. We just read Don Rock’s email that you are coming back this summer. We are so excited to see you again.
Ruben/Sharon
Praises for many answered prayers!!!
Trevor you are doing an amazing job with those around you. You may not see all of those lives you are touching right now because you are so close to them but I know they are being touched. They know you care and that in itself makes a huge impact! Just in our short visit we could see how the Lord has changed you to do great things there in Nicaragua.
We love you and continue to keep you and your team in prayer…and thank you again for sharing with us your need for prayers and ways you have conquered that evil.
Love, Mom
This is awesome, Trevor! The Lord is and will continue your dedication to Him. It may be hard to see now, but looking back in a little while, you’ll be amazed at how much you’ve grown, especially in times like these. Keep pressing in!
Isnt God amazing? even when we let the thoughts of the evil one get to us he speaks truth into our lives and reminds us of who he is and what he can use us for. So so awesome! Praise God. I love you brother. keep pressing forward and pressing into the presence of God and he will honor you work in nica.
Awesome bro! Praise God that He gives us the support when we need it. Looking forward to seeing you in a couple weeks!
it was good for me to read this. Especially since the conversation I had with you was only the first part of this blog. Its such an answer to prayer to know that God has given you moments of an even greater reality, not the one that says you have accomplished nothing, but the one that says “thank you for being faithful to what I have called you to do.”